Madeline the Cat

My new bed

2007-06-10T17:43:00.001+10:00

More interlopers

2006-10-28T23:04:00.000+10:00

I must work on my bird scaring tactics. My previous ruse of sleeping for hours in the backyard and sleeping for hours in the front hasn't managed to put off this bird who is on to her second lot of eggs in a nest just outside the front door.

Any given Sunday

2006-10-26T22:02:00.000+10:00

Last Sunday I was getting my usual ten hours sleep on the outdoor furniture.

Slave one came out into the backyard to take photos of the flowers.

I went to help by making her pat me instead.

She did this for a short while but then stopped. I thought about this for at least 3 seconds and decided that this behaviour was unsatisfactory.

So I bit her. That'll teach her.
Later on that day I went to sleep in the garage. Slave one must have shut the door not knowing I was in there. I was locked in there all night. Slave one didn't find me til the next morning. I can't believe she didn't miss me until then. 12 hours without food. I nearly died.

Happy Birthday to me

2006-10-16T20:44:00.000+10:00

I got these for my birthday and I have totally ignored them as they are beneath my notice.

Slave one made up for it by getting me this. I've made her use it several times already . And then I bite her. All in all a good day. Except I'm still waiting for Slave two to ante up with a present. She's pretty slow at things like this.

And where's my cake?

Look what the cat didn't drag in

2006-09-26T21:45:00.000+10:00

I was quietly watching the world go by one night when this unwelcome visitor just waltzed in thru the open front door.

Quickly followed by me. And what did those useless slaves do? Did they throw it out? Did they yell and scream and throw rocks at it? No. They patted it, picked it up and cuddled it. They let it eat MY food!

It even tried to take over my role by stopping slaves from reading by sitting on their books.
Slave two showed her perfidy by giving the dog a bath and letting it sleep on her bed all night. Slave one showed her loyalty by taking it to the vet in the morning and leaving it there. Ha ha ha dog. Thermometers up your bum.

3RRR Radiothon

2006-09-26T20:56:00.000+10:00

I'm a community minded cat. Just don't try to pat me.

Family Dinner

2006-09-14T11:32:00.000+10:00

I love fish and chip night, I've finally trained the slaves to buy me my own piece of flake.
But what about a plate?

Laser therapy

2006-09-11T22:27:00.000+10:00

Slave one got a laser pen for her birthday. Both slaves use it to irritate me.
Sometimes I chase it around and around. Sometimes I pretend to be interested for a few seconds then see how long it takes them to work out that I'm not chasing it.

Image problem

2006-09-11T22:20:00.000+10:00

This apparently is how other people see me. What is wrong with them? Don't their eyes work. I am much more beautiful than that. At least this one was done by a small child.
Slave one has no excuse for this one.

Proof of my superiority

2006-08-30T21:17:00.000+10:00

Bet you can't do this.

As they say, a good start

2006-08-30T21:10:00.000+10:00

Some of slave one's friends have moved far far away to the other side of town. And taken their dogs Dede and Kiera with them. Good, the less dogs near me the better. One of them left a poo in my backyard once. Dogs are so disgusting. I won't allow my slaves to have one. Or another cat. Or children. Or anything really.

Birthdays 3

2006-08-30T21:06:00.000+10:00

Just in case you are wondering, my birthday is on October 16. I will be 9. Closer to the date I will posting a list of presents you can buy me, starting with a new tree. This one is a bit dated.

Birthdays 2

2006-08-30T21:00:00.000+10:00

Another ex slave turned 21. I think she had a margarita for every year. She wasn't very good at feeding me because I'd scared her too much and she was frightened to come near me. That was a few years ago. Now when she comes to visit she sometimes pats me. But only one pat in case I turn vicious.

Birthdays

2006-08-30T20:52:00.000+10:00

Slave one's friends have very suspect taste and so does slave one as she seems to like her presents. One sent the giraffes all the way from Perth. Another sent the squirrel all the way from London. I've tried attacking the giraffes but it isn't much fun as the y don't scream or cry. The squirrel is too hard on my teeth.

At last

2006-08-30T18:43:00.000+10:00

Finally slave one and two have stopped hogging the computer and I can update my blog. Slave one has been busy doing her family tree. I've looked but I can't find my entry yet! She must be saving the best for last. I bet she put that baby on it. One of my ex slaves escaped to America and has become a daddy. That makes slave one a great aunt. Doesn't that make her sound old!!

The new 10 lb baby. Hope they don't try to bring her here. I hate being locked in the bedroom. After all, what's wrong with sleeping on babies. They're a great source of warmth.

The ex slave when he was a wee 10lb baby.

Party time

2006-08-05T19:49:00.001+10:00

We had lots of visitors today and they ignored me and I'm not happy! Slave one had a birthday. Now she is more than 5 times older than me. Good.

My room

2006-08-04T16:27:00.000+10:00

Slave one was home for several days in a row. She spent a lot of time sleeping which is handy as she is a good source of warmth. The heater was on all the time as well, another bonus. And best of all, I could get fed at any time of the day and not have to wait until someone got home. I think gastro is a good thing.
When slave one started to feel better she tidied up the morning sun room (the one the horrible young children use when they come to visit) so I have an entire bed to sleep on in the lovely morning sunshine now that slave one has gone back to work and won't keep me warm during the day. Each morning before she leaves I try to encourage her to stay home with me by sitting in the door of that room and not getting on to the bed until she sits down and pats it. But still she leaves.

Weekend woes

2006-07-24T21:42:00.000+10:00

It's taken me two days to get over it, I was taken to the vet again for another injection. I didn't even get breakfast before I went. Slave one tried to make up for by spending most of Sunday in bed reading a book. This kept me warm enough in parts but slave one was no use at all when the thunderstorm came and I had to hide under the house for a few hours.
I do have a new toy. Feathers and boas, and when I'm sick of biting that I can bite slave one's arm.
Slave two came back with her face all unpuffed but no better manners. I put on my sad but inquisitive expression to no avail - she wouldn't give me any of her chicken sandwich. I'm sure I can find something of hers that is black to sleep on.

What about me?

2006-07-15T21:23:00.001+10:00

Slave two had some teeth taken out and has run off with her puffy face to her grandparents for molly coddling. Slave one went away for work and left me alone all night. That was two fresh feeds I missed out on. I had to rely on the several bowls of dry food (specially designed to keep my teeth sparkerling - perhaps slave two should have had some). And nobody turned the heater on. When slave one came back, did I get a present to placate my hurt and anger? No, all she bought back was this. Thoughtless bitch.

Pavlov's person

2006-07-11T12:52:00.000+10:00

Slave one makes me wear a collar with a bell in the vain hope that it stops me from catching birds. Who has time for bird catching in between eating and sleeping and eating? Most cats find a way to stop the bell when they want to but I have found a use for making as much noise as possible (apart from the standard of waking slaves in the middle of the night whilst having a vigorous grooming session). Humans being the selfish things that they are, have put the doorbell too high up for a cat to use. But a quick shake of the collar and slave one is usually opening the front door within seconds. Much better than going around the back and trying to squeeze through the "cat door". As if all doors aren't cat doors.

Always happy to help

2006-07-11T12:47:00.000+10:00

Slave two found out that she has passed all her half year exams. The reason she did so well is because I like to sit next to the keyboard and my intelligence is so immense that some of my brain waves must have leaked out and soaked into her less capable human brain. I am so generous.

Couch Potato

2006-07-09T19:35:00.000+10:00

A cat needs her sleep. I've only had 10 hours sleep since breakfast so quit taking my photo and piss off. Unless of course you wish to replenish my food bowl and bring it here.

2006-07-03T20:06:00.000+10:00

Gave slave one several good bites this morning. Not sure if she doesn't need more. Also jumped on her for about an hour and a half before she got out of bed to feed me. What a horrible weekend. Firstly the young humans came to visit again making lots of noise and taking attention away from me. I've got one of them bluffed. She is too scared too walk near me so I sit in the hallway in the centre of the house and block her access to the kitchen and toilet. Ha!

But worse than the young humans was the visit to the vet. Slave one forced me into the cage and put me into the car. I cried pitifully until slave one opened a flap on the top to pat me. I saw my opportunity and squeezed through the small hole much to the amazement of all. I leapt onto the headrest but could go no further as the young humans were in the back seat. Laughing! At me!! I was recaptured and recaged. The vet gave me an injection. I suppose I should be thankful that I didn't get the thermometer up my bottom.

Breakfast

2006-06-30T13:20:00.000+10:00

This morning breakfast wasn't served until 7.15am. I almost faded away to nothing. Slave one needs to make more of an effort.

After staring through the cat door for several minutes, slave two finally open the human door so I could get out - thought it was done with ill will. Slave two thinks I am too stupid to get through the cat door. Why should I when someone will open the human door for me. I may have to do some more toe biting.

What is their problem?

2006-06-29T19:30:00.000+10:00

I've just tried to bite the toes of slave two. Slave two was surprisingly ungrateful at the attention I bestowed. I am now sitting on the car bonnet deciding what to do next.

madeline-the-cat

2006-06-29T16:41:00.000+10:00

Today I jumped on slave one at approximately 5.30am to keep warm until slave one got out of bed. Slave one was tired from attending anti IR legislation march the day before. I was kept waiting until nearly 7am before breakfast was served.
Ate breakfast.
Slave one left the house without refilling bowls with fresh breakfast so went into slave two's room to make sure I wouldn't be forgotten when slave two awoke.